


Final Goodbye / Dear Phil

by Phandom4Life



Category: Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dear Phil, Death, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Letters, Love, M/M, Misery, Sadness, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandom4Life/pseuds/Phandom4Life
Summary: Dan says goodbye to Phil in a letterWarning Suicide Note Triggers





	Final Goodbye / Dear Phil

Dear Phil 

 

This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write, but there's something you need to know.  
First of all Phil none of what I'm doing is because of you.  
If there ever was a reason not to do this it would be you. 

I’ve tried to be happy with life how it is but nothing  
Seems to be working anymore.  
Taking tablets just masks the problems it doesn’t fix them at all. 

Being in the spot light on you tube shines a light on my problems even more.  
When I post a video people can notice if  
I ‘m down or tired, or if I haven’t eaten and its a struggle. 

I don’t want to hide whats going on inside me anymore  
I can’t fight it the darkness it has won.  
But Phil the hardest struggle is that I don’t want to leave you behind. 

You have been my one true friend and constant relationship for a long time  
it makes it hard to let go.  
Remember you can shine in this life people love you,  
Thank you for being my sunshine for so long. 

These words are from my heart and it’s the most honest, thing I’ve ever had to say I love you Philip Michael Lester.  
I’m so sorry I have to leave you in this world, but you will be fine you will move on find  
someone to love live a great life. 

I will be watching over you every step of the way, and if you need me look inside your heart  
even at our videos that’s our special place.  
Remember all our times in Japan, London and Manchester those are the most fun times  
I’ve ever had in my life.  
I feel guilty about leaving you Phil but you deserve to be in the spot light so please keep living for me. 

 

If you are reading this Im really gone you won’t find me, I don’t want to be a burden any more.  
There’s a quote that’s beautiful and I wanted to share it with you. 

“I've learned life is a lot like surfing. When you get caught in the impact zone, you need to get right back up,  
because you never know what's over the next wave  
......and if you have faith, anything is possible, anything at all.”

This has helped me a lot and I know it will  
help you as well.  
I made a final youtube video that I would like you to upload if that’s ok.  
I’ve also made video letters to my family explaining my choice if you could pass them  
on that would be great. 

My password to my computer is I Love Phil Lester, which has always been true the moment we met I was in love.  
I can’t believe this is the journey life has lead me on but meeting you was the best part of any of it. 

Im sorry I have to go now but I love you forever and never give up Phil live for both of us. 

PS, Don’t forget to look after Dil while Im gone

Love Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Suicide Trigger 
> 
> Hi everyone welcome to March time goes by so fast. 
> 
> thank you for reading this story it means a lot to me I work hard on this letter. 
> 
> I hope it doesn't trigger anything for anyone, if you need to talk I've always  
> available


End file.
